Saturday, June 28, 2008

You know what's great about Mary Steenburgen?

If you read the subject of this post, you’re no doubt thinking to yourself “But Anthony, everything about Mary Steenburgen is great!” That’s true, obviously, but today I want to talk about one thing specifically.

Mary Steenburgen is so talented, so generally amazing that sometimes I do nothing for days on end but sit around and think about how terrific she is. With that in mind, it’s my theory that she would be well-cast in some role in any movie ever made. Not every role, but *a* role in every single motion picture ever made.

For example:

Rocky – Mary Steenburgen as Adrian
Batman Begins – Mary Steenburgen as Boring Katie Holmes Love Interest
Revenge of the Nerds – Mary Steenburgen as Gilbert’s mom
City Lights – Mary Steenburgen as the Blind Girl
Alien – Mary Steenburgen as Lambert
12 Angry Men – Mary Steenburgen as Juror #2
Toy Story – Mary Steenburgen as Bo Peep
Casablanca – Mary Steenburgen as that woman who wants to escape with her husband. Not Ilsa, the other one. The one who Rick rigs the roulette wheel for.
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure – Mary Steenburgen as Movie Dottie
Norbit – Mary Steenburgen as Eddie Murphy

I could go on until I’ve listed every movie, Leonard Maltin-style, but you get the idea. You may think I’m exaggerating, but I defy you to name me a picture that wouldn’t do well to feature Mary Steenburgen. Seriously – go ahead and give it a try.

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