Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Personalized license plates have always bothered me. Without fail, they don’t make sense to anyone who isn’t a friend or relative of the car owner. Still, in theory the purpose is for the driver to express his or her personality. With that I mind, I started recording personalized license plates that I saw on the streets of Fargo. I’m going to make an honest attempt to figure out what they mean and/or what they say about the people who paid money to get them attached to their cars.

Before we go on, I must assure you that every one of these is a real license plate. I wrote down about one hundred and fifty. If you don’t think these are funny, I have a whole bunch more I can show you.

20MAX – But he or she usually only takes sixteen or seventeen.
3HOLSN1 – This person obviously has a three-hole punch that he or she uses to commit a variety of sins.
ALTIMTE – When this person plays football, he or she is always “All Time Tight End”.
APESCAR – This person stole his or her car from a gorilla.
BIG FOFO – This person was a big Follow That Bird fan as a kid, but got confused about Big Bird’s adopted name, having not seen the movie in some years.
BUD79 – Bud couldn’t remember how old he was, so he put it on his license plate.
CME4HMS – Actually, this sounds like a church ad. But it was on a personal vehicle, as far as I could tell.
DAJAVOO – I know I’ve seen that misspelling on a license plate somewhere before . . .
DR WILD – After earning his Doctorate degree, Tarzan got a vanity plate.
ERS – This person is well known for saying “Er . . err . . . err . . .” all the time.
FAB4EVR – This person wants to be fabulous forever.
GIGI RN – This person constantly runs to the video store to rent the Leslie Caron movie Gigi.
HIJUMPA – Hi yourself, but my name’s not “Jumpa”.
ILPETER – This person is named Peter, and gets sick quite often. Hence the nickname.
ITLDO – This is James Cromwell’s car.
ITLNSUB – This person really, really loves Italian subs. That’s funny enough, I think.
KRACKRZ – I lay awake at night wishing this plate was my own.
LUVYAH – This person loves me.
MDYBLUZ – In high school, this fellow had a crush on a girl named “Mandy Blutz”, and he hopes she’ll notice his shout out to her on his vanity plate.
MJ PI – This person is a private investigator who only serves clients with the initials “MJ”.
MNTROLR – This car is owned by a cyborg named “Mantroller”.
MOHRPWR – This person still can’t believe FOX cancelled Action starring Jay Mohr, so he or she is trying to devise ways to bring it back, using everything in his or her power.
MRS3577 – This woman loves the number 3577 so much, she married it!
OUTBUGN – While driving, this VW owner listens to Bugs Bunny’s rap song from the Space Jam soundtrack.
PRA4SUN – This person wishes he or she didn’t live in North Dakota for eight months out of the year.
R3BOYS – These boys love Robocop 3.
SHARMAS – Sharmas MacPherson recently emigrated from Silly Stereotypeland
SKOOL – This person usually skipped.
SNAVELY – Sharmas’s brother, Snavely MacPherson
TMUP – This person really loves The Muppet Show.
TOMIGRL – This person wanted to dedicate his plate “To My Girl,” but he can’t spell very well.
TRI E2 – This person is asking “You too?” in Latin three times.
WANKER – I swear to you I am not making this up.
WN2BCEO – This person is a serious tool, I guarantee it.
WORDS – False. That is only one word.
WRKN4YA – I am this person’s boss.

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